No more New Year’s Resolutions for me I need a guaranteed solution this year. When I go back and think about the year of 2016; and the list of things I wrote down and declared it to be my New Year’s Resolutions 90% of my declaration was an epic fail. My list consisted of all the cliche things people say that they are going to do for the New Year which includes the following statements: “I am going to lose weight, I am going to eat healthy, I am going to quit smoking, I am going to be more focus”, and so on, and so forth. There is just something about me just doing that every single year because I have had this same list for the past 8 years, and I still have this stubborn belly fat, and every summer I say I will have a beach body and it doesn’t happen because I will start an exercise regimen and give up after a couple of months. As the end of the year started approaching I found myself overwhelmed with frustration, anger, hurt, and just plain old unhappy with my many failed attempts to accomplish my goals.
This year I decided not to make a New Year’s Promise, Decree, Pledge, to do or not to do something. I’ve tried that for many years so now it’s time to try something new I need a guaranteed solution and that is when I concluded that there is something going on inside of my inner being that is causing me to remain stagnated. The many goals that I set for myself and never got close to completing them because I would start things and never finish so, I had to ask myself what has caused you to start things and not finish? I thought long and hard and realized that procrastination, frustration, minor setbacks, disappointments, and finally fear had crippled my dreams causing me to give up on my dreams and just existing in a defeated state of mind. I had become accustomed to failure surrounded by people in my past, and present who were just trying to survive but I no longer want to just survive I must thrive. The goal is to dream again. My daughter told me what she wanted to do as far as her dreams and her goals to start her own business I asked her what inspired you to want to start your own business and she said you mommy, you and Uncle Rudy and tears came rolling down my face when she said that, and now my son wants to do the same thing start his own business as well. To see my two children in the year of 2015 ages 9, and 8 years old inspired by me and to only see me give up I was now disappointed in myself.
There has got to be a better way for me to resolve this and my guaranteed solution is to go for it and never give up. I know it sounds cliche but for me giving up was the root of my problem and some much-needed soul searching help me to realize that my unhappiness derived from me giving up on all my dreams, and falling out of love with all my passions. Waking up daily to just complete my daily duties; working at a job that I hate while throwing my dreams out the window praying that God grant me a miracle to get me out of my situation. Now is the time for me to realize that I can pray until the sky collapses it means nothing if I do not put action behind the prayer, actions behind the dream, actions behind the vision, putting my faith into action. I have written out my schedule and set attainable goals for myself and writing again is one of them so this is my putting some action behind the pad by using my pen.